through it

This past week has been one of the topsy-turvy kind of weeks...it seems much of what I did or attempted to do was thwarted, leaving me frustrated and on edge.

Yesterday, after yelling at the kids several times before we even got well into our morning, it finally dawned on me I needed a time out to hash some things out in prayer with God. At the heart of my lack of patience was anger at God. I felt He had let me down, failing to speak clearly to me and direct my steps. I blamed Him for letting me go down paths that seemingly led nowhere. I blamed myself for failing once again to live up to the expectations of who I thought He wanted me to be. (For the record, I am putting these expectations on myself, they are in my mind and not the Lord's.) I cried out for understanding, something that would explain why every step seemed to be a misstep. Though He didn't shed any light in that moment, He settled my spirit so I could return to the kids in a much more loving state of mind than when I left them.

And then afternoon came and with it Ben's nap. Our routine is to read a few books of his choosing. Yesterday, Ben picked up "We're Going on a Bear Hunt," by Michael Rosen*. A book I've read so many times I can recite most of it from memory.

I started reading the familiar lines..."We're going on a bear hunt, we're going to catch a big one, what a beautiful day, we're not scared."

If you know the story, you'll remember these lines are repeated throughout the book and are followed by challenges the children and their father face... grass, a river, mud, a forest, a snowstorm, a cave. Each challenge is met with these words: "We can't go over it, we can't go under it. Oh no, we have to go through it."

And that's when God spoke. I felt a nudge in my spirit to lean into the words, "we have to go through it."

Just in case I might have missed it, Ben asked to have the story read twice. And last night, He reminded me of those words again in a conversation with a friend and mentor.

"We have to go through it."

Until this very moment, I was focusing on the "going through it" part. I had accepted that yesterday - grateful God faithfully provided the clarity I sought, comforted He is doing a work in me that I know will be for His glory someday.

But apparently, I hadn't received the most important part of the message...the "we" part. I didn't see it yesterday, but thank you, Lord, I can see it now.

"We have to go through it."

Not me alone. Not even me with other people. But "we" - He and I. Praise God that He will not leave me, or any of us, alone to go through whatever challenges may come our way. Praise God that He wants to walk through it with us. And praise Him in belief the He will bring us through to the other side.

Be it...

long, wavy grass

a deep, cold river






















thick, oozy mud

a deep, dark forest

a swirling, whirling snowstorm

or a narrow, gloomy cave.

(*see Disclosure page on the right side bar)

the kind of prayer epilogue

(If you read this post first, the following will make much more sense. ;) )

Well...God answered "no" to the first prayer. The weather was too wonderful for people to be inclined to be inside. If I didn't have to be there, I don't think I would have been there.

Yet, despite the boredom of the long day and doubts that I'd ever do another craft show again, I asked God about it afterward. Had I been in the wrong place? Were the lack of sales a reflection of my lack of discernment...faith...trust in Him? Did I do something wrong? Was my attitude not pleasing to Him? Knowing He tests the conditions of our hearts, I often scrutinize mine. Probably obsessively.

Thankfully, His stillness thundered over the clamor going on inside my head. "You were exactly where I wanted you to be," He whispered.

Oh.

And I still feel that with peaceful certainty - I was exactly where He wanted me to be and I can't imagine being anywhere else. It doesn't change the fact that it was hard to go through, but I'm grateful that God took the focus off of me (where did I go wrong) to Him (what is He going to do with this experience). In that alone, He already has answered the first part of my second prayer.

And I know He will answer the second part of it too. In His way and in His time. All I need to do is wait. And watch. And hope. And trust.

reap to sow: chapters 1 & 2

Yay! I'm so excited for us to begin The Power of a Positive Mom together. Courtney's started us off this week, please check out her blog for the first installment of Reap to Sow.

(Also, check out this post she did...it still makes me smile how many times God brought this Scripture to mind for her. And maybe if you're waiting for confirmation on something from Him, this will boost your faith that He will answer...just ask. Then wait. Then watch to see how He loves to show up.)

the kind of prayer

For the past several months, I've been preparing for a craft show. It's my first and I've been crazy busy sewing and getting all the business side of things in order...labeling, pricing, signage, packaging, etc.

I've also been praying, praying and praying a little more that most (or all) of the items I've made would sell. Because my worst (crafting) nightmare is that I will have made all these items but am not able to sell them. his worry has even worked its way into my dreams...

A couple of weeks ago, I dreamed it rained so hard that nobody showed up because they thought the craft show was outdoors. (I checked and it's inside, but torrential downpours tend to dampen enthusiasm for venturing out of doors even if it's only from house to car to craft show.) So I began to pray for sun. And sunny it will be and warm too which leads me to the second mare-dream...

Plenty of people were at the craft show but were more interested in other activities and only a few people at the end of the show were remotely interested in even looking at my products. (A harvest festival will be going on at the same time as the craft show.)

Which leads me to an updated prayer...that people will be interested in buying rain or shine. I'm not sure if this a "praying in God's will" kind of prayer, but it's hard not to be praying that way. It's just where my heart is at right now.

I have an inkling God might be more inclined to say "yes" to this prayer: "Lord, please let me keep my focus on You alone. Please help me not to be concerned with whether people buy what I have made or not, but trust that you will find a home for each of these items in Your timing and in Your way. In Jesus name, Amen." 

If you read this and have a moment to pray, would you pray this for me? Perhaps my heart will be strengthened by prayers offered up by others. And in return, if there are any prayers you are having a hard time praying but feel might be in line with God's will, I would love to pray for you. You may leave these in the comments section or email me at hungerandthirst@live.com if you would rather they not be public.

rain or shine

My children often ask me, "Why does it have to rain today?"

"Because God decided we needed it to rain," is often my response. Though, I often wonder the same thing myself. After all, our area already has surpassed its average annual rainfall (AAR) three months before the year ends. And I've tried "reminding" God in my prayers that there are many areas in His world which could use our extra rain. I'd even settle for a little less than our AAR if it meant the easing of drought for starving nations.

But since His thoughts are not mine and His ways are higher than my own, I trust that He knows what He is doing. After all, He is piecing together this tapestry and I am only one thread.

What I have noticed is how much more I appreciate the warmth of the sun when I've gone without (we've just come out of a spell of cold, rainy weather). I am more apt to thank God deeply for the rays He pours down upon us and to drink in the sun, storing up the warmth for the darker, colder days which lay ahead.

I've also realized how my moods are affected by the weather. And while it is easier to be cheerful on a sunny day, I want to experience contentment and joy in any circumstance and whatever the weather. Which brings me back to resting in God alone. And that is always the best place to be. Rain or shine.

reap to sow: one week to go!

Hi all-
We're one week away before we dig into the goodness God has in store for us through the book, "The Power of a Positive Mom" by Karol Ladd.*


If you are planning on joining us, here's how it will work:
Meet us here (or Courtney's blog) every Monday to check out the chapters for that week - we'll take two at time. Courtney and I also will alternate sharing something related to the theme of those chapters. When it's Courtney's turn, I'll be sure to provide a link to her post.

Fridays will be discussion day and will center around the "Power Points" of each chapter - we'll pick the ones that spoke closely to our hearts and hope you will share your thoughts in the comments section - if you plan on writing a post on your own blog related to the chapters discussed, please feel free to include a link to it in your comment. We're hoping that by hosting the discussion in the comments section vs. a link party it will feel more like a conversation. :)

We hope you'll be able to join us in this adventure, but even if you're not able to read the book itself, we hope you'll pop in and glean something from the book just by reading our posts and the comments from other moms.

(*see Disclosure page on the right side bar)

homeschool journal: gratitude and prayers

This week I am thankful for the structure homeschooling brings to our lives. We all have been battling colds - the kind that keeps you up at night and saps your energy during the day. So despite being foggier-of-mind, I found it helpful to have a focus to our days, to keep me on track and the kids from bouncing off the walls. In addition to the usual subjects, we managed to do our Australian animals studies on the dingo and frilled lizard. After watching this video, I think the frilled lizard is among my favorites.

Yesterday, however, I felt the nudge from God to give us all a day off. Originally, I had planned on this for next Friday in anticipation of a craft show I'm preparing for, but my Daddy knows me (and our kids) best and I'm grateful I didn't have to push through the school day given my cloudy head. 


Praying about...
This upcoming week and month. Dave begins a new job on Monday after two months of being home, which means we transition into another new season. While I tried not to rely on him to tend to Luke and Ben's needs while I schooled Brie and Reese, they inevitably spent many play hours in his home office. So with his return to an away-from-home office, my two youngest will be a little at loose ends until I get us all readjusted to a slightly modified routine.

Praying especially for ways to keep Luke and Ben entertained and the balance between having them be with us at the table and away playing by themselves.

And praying for D and me too...we both enjoyed having him home and while this job is something to be celebrated, I think we both hoped the work-from-home situation was something that would be sustainable. Perhaps in the future, but for now, it's not.

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