Wednesday, May 21, 2014

the current of motherhood

Everyone said it would happen - the years that would fly by and suddenly the infant you held is inches away from looking you in the eye as she stands on her own two feet.

And they were right.

Except in the midst of many sleepless nights, endless diaper changes, miles walked comforting a fussing child, and thousands of answered questions, demands met, it feels as if this physically intense parenting time will never end. Only it does and is replaced by emotionally intense parenting.

How I miss those days when I could make things better with a hug or a kiss or a cuddle. When decisions were focus on meeting basic needs of food and clothing and helping my children navigate relationships was a simple as teaching them to share their toys, and "no, it's not all right to hit because someone took the toy you were only thinking about playing with."

Perhaps I'll look back on this time in another decade and think similar thoughts about this new phase of parenthood we're on. The one where we face the advent of middle school, a diagnosing learning challenges, try to instill good work habits and teach God's way of being reconciled to one another and "no, 'doing unto others' does not mean you get to hit them back because they hit you first."

Sigh. I meant for this post to be a lighthearted look at our Mother's Day hike with a splash of photos to remember these all too fleeting days. Instead it has gone much deeper than I intended.

There were spots like that in the river too. From the banks it looked negotiable, but wade on in and the current is strong, the bottom rocky and pockets deeps.

My will would say battle the river, overcome the currents. But if I'm to survive the tide of motherhood, I must yield to the Lord's way. And His way is to halt the waters while I pass through or to lead me beside quiet waters where I remain untroubled. Perhaps this is a lesson to be learned for these next ten years...