Thursday, October 13, 2011

through it

This past week has been one of the topsy-turvy kind of seems much of what I did or attempted to do was thwarted, leaving me frustrated and on edge.

Yesterday, after yelling at the kids several times before we even got well into our morning, it finally dawned on me I needed a time out to hash some things out in prayer with God. At the heart of my lack of patience was anger at God. I felt He had let me down, failing to speak clearly to me and direct my steps. I blamed Him for letting me go down paths that seemingly led nowhere. I blamed myself for failing once again to live up to the expectations of who I thought He wanted me to be. (For the record, I am putting these expectations on myself, they are in my mind and not the Lord's.) I cried out for understanding, something that would explain why every step seemed to be a misstep. Though He didn't shed any light in that moment, He settled my spirit so I could return to the kids in a much more loving state of mind than when I left them.

And then afternoon came and with it Ben's nap. Our routine is to read a few books of his choosing. Yesterday, Ben picked up "We're Going on a Bear Hunt," by Michael Rosen*. A book I've read so many times I can recite most of it from memory.

I started reading the familiar lines..."We're going on a bear hunt, we're going to catch a big one, what a beautiful day, we're not scared."

If you know the story, you'll remember these lines are repeated throughout the book and are followed by challenges the children and their father face... grass, a river, mud, a forest, a snowstorm, a cave. Each challenge is met with these words: "We can't go over it, we can't go under it. Oh no, we have to go through it."

And that's when God spoke. I felt a nudge in my spirit to lean into the words, "we have to go through it."

Just in case I might have missed it, Ben asked to have the story read twice. And last night, He reminded me of those words again in a conversation with a friend and mentor.

"We have to go through it."

Until this very moment, I was focusing on the "going through it" part. I had accepted that yesterday - grateful God faithfully provided the clarity I sought, comforted He is doing a work in me that I know will be for His glory someday.

But apparently, I hadn't received the most important part of the message...the "we" part. I didn't see it yesterday, but thank you, Lord, I can see it now.

"We have to go through it."

Not me alone. Not even me with other people. But "we" - He and I. Praise God that He will not leave me, or any of us, alone to go through whatever challenges may come our way. Praise God that He wants to walk through it with us. And praise Him in belief the He will bring us through to the other side.

Be it...

long, wavy grass

a deep, cold river

thick, oozy mud

a deep, dark forest

a swirling, whirling snowstorm

or a narrow, gloomy cave.

(*see Disclosure page on the right side bar)

1 comment:

Courtney said...

Oh, thank you for this beautiful post, Andrea. "We have to go through it." - Those words are powerful now.

It is amazing how God speaks to us, isn't it?