Tuesday, September 4, 2012

summer in waiting

I wanted to write a shiny happy summer post for this invitation of Jen's and the SDG crew. Really, I did. I even had one almost ready to publish. But this God of ours, He has a way of interrupting our best intentions if they don't match what's in our heart. 

So be warned, this may not be the typical happy summer post you expected to read. But if you're only in the mood right now for happy, here are a few I posted over the summer ('cause they're true too)..
For the gardeners
For the hikers
For the crafty firefly lovers
For the beach goers
And for the celebrating family moments-ers (here and here)

Now onto real...

When God interrupted my shiny happy post writing, I started to get quiet and pray and ask. Specifically, I asked Him to give me a picture to sum up this summer. Here's the one He picked:

I snapped this one in Februrary 2011. Winter run off watering ground waiting to bloom spring.

This summer was winter-waiting-for-spring. And I am waiting too.

Because God has me in this valley not of my choosing, but of His. And though I want to will myself out of it, have askedprayedbegged to be on the path up and out, God firmly shelters me here. So it's hard to feel summer when you're learning to shed clothes you've worn too long but feel naked without (and you know this has nothing to do with literal clothes or a desire to go all Eve in the Garden before the tempting serpent messed things up). It's hard to feel summer when you stomach swims sick with anxiety over the tide of life - not just the big things, but the little things too. It's hard to feel summer light when you're fighting the winter dark.

But there's beauty in this winter valley too. Do you see it?

The water trickling to ground.

The living water that will coax bulbs and seeds to shed their paper skins and struggle to find the light. It's the search and the stretch for joy, contentment and the peace beyond understanding when the dark earth still covers the life stirring beneath.

And that's why this picture is a perfect snapshot of my summer. Because I am that seed, that bulb waiting to bloom. I am summer in waiting.


kendal said...

thanks for keeping it real. it's important, this honesty. praying for you right now....

jana @jana's three dresses said...

Andrea, It is so refreshing to read your work. To see there are others out there, who like me, just want to be real. To not hide anymore behind the fake smiles and automatic "I'm fine" responses. Thank you for your raw beauty. I understand where you are. I especially like the line "have askedprayedbegged to be on the path up and out, God firmly shelters me here". He sheltered me too, as I waited for my summer. I am inspired to continue on my quest to deeper intimacy with Christ and a greater authenticity with myself. jana

Kim said...

It can be so difficult, often feeling like we are in the dark, as we wait.

I have found it has always grown me, shaped me, challenged me, and made me more aware of both my shortcomings and strengths.

Blessings to you as you await your growing season!

Jen Ferguson said...

I just want to tell you how your honesty and willingness to be real is so honoring -- to take part of this community no matter what -- that is a blessing.